Need a friend?

As an adult, I have had trouble making and maintaining friends.  My depression makes it particularly hard to maintain friends as I tend to want to isolate myself when I feel blue.  I don’t turn to friends or family when I am down.  Instead, I sit in my room and stare at the walls.

When the fog of my depression lifts, I try to become more social, but my anxiety speaks up and tells me I am no good at socializing.  It is a vicious cycle of isolation and self-doubt.  To break this cycle, I find I need to get myself out there every day.  But there it is harder to meet people.

There are many benefits to being more social.  Here’s a few of them:

• Sense of belonging

• Purpose

• Happiness

• Stress reduction

• Improved self-confidence

• Higher self-worth

Here are my ideas for maintaining relationships and meeting new people.  I’ll start with maintaining relationships:

• Call a friend or family member to catch up

• Visit someone you haven’t seen in a while

• Meet at the park and chat as you walk

Here’s a list of ways to meet new people:

• Join Meetup and check out some of the clubs that interest you.  I have loved going to prayer and writing groups.  I plan to join a book club, but I haven’t found the right one yet.  So far, I have only attended online groups.

• Check out your local library.  In addition to free books, libraries have clubs and workshops you can attend.  You might meet some people in your area.

• If you are religious, check out the groups that meet at your church.  I found a group that fundraises for the church and does volunteer work as well.

• Join your local gym.  I found that people are more social in the exercise classes.  You get some exercise in while you meet people.  It’s a win-win.

In conclusion, being social gets easier to do, the more you put yourself out there.  I still get a little conscious when I am in a group, but I keep at it.  I feel a little better each day, which is awesome.

I know you can do it too.  Just start with something easy, like calling a family member you love.  I found that one-on-one was easier in the beginning.  I know you can do it.  Have an amazing day.